A Prayer - A Bridge

A Prayer – A Bridge

a bridge from what I once was, and can still be – to the person I aspire to be

a friend, at dawn by the Ohio River – Aberdeen Suspension Bridge, Maysville KY

            The intent of my prayers throughout my life has evolved.  Prayers of my younger years were pleadings for something – directed to an entity I was not wholly convinced existed, or if it did exist, cared not one fig about me.  Most were of the “foxhole variety,” because my ass was on fire and I wanted someone, or something, to put it out immediately.

            Trying to get sober started me on consistent reliance upon prayer, even though I was dubious at the time.  My sponsor suggested the practice, and I responded that I did not know what to pray for.  He asked, “what do you want?”  My reply was that I wanted the desire and compulsion to use alcohol and drugs removed from me.  “That is your prayer,” he stated emphatically, “start with that.”  He also said it had to be done daily, and more often when my life felt like it was about to shatter into little pieces.  Several weeks later I realized the desire and compulsion to chemically alter my consciousness had indeed dissipated.  It just happened!  I informed my sponsor of the good news, and he instructed me to keep repeating the prayer because obviously it had worked.

            That original plea of decades ago remains in my daily morning prayer for today, because I still want that to be an aspect of my being.  Over the years of working a program of recovery I have come to embrace other qualities which would be beneficial to aspiring for a peaceful, serene, and unselfish life – so I have added those to my prayer as well.  The type of person we are today is the result of choices – so chose wisely!

            Moving from the person I once was, to the type of person I can be today, is a frightening thing.  No matter how uncomfortable my old ways were, there was the illusion of comfort in the familiar.  A new way of living filled me with fear, because it was unknown.  It is like encountering a small stream and having to make a decision to get to the other side – or stay on the side where my actions continue to visit upon me consequences which typically are bad.  Prayer provides the strength to swallow fear and pride in order to get to the other side – on an invisible bridge.  Prayer is my daily reminder of who I once was, but most importantly, a conscious declaration of the type of person I want to be.  In order to do that, I have to consciously and with firm intent, cross that metaphorical and personal bridge on a consistent basis.  It truly works, for I am not the person I was, and I hope I am a better person today than I was yesterday.  Today I believe – today I have faith in a Higher Power.

 

My Daily Prayer

 

Thank you Lord for this new day!

Please guide me,

Please grant me the strength, the courage, and the willingness

To do what needs to be done today.

 

Please help me to grow,

Help me to learn, help me to listen,

help me to love, help me to share,

and help me to forgive.

 

Help me to go forth today,

With an attitude of gratitude,

An attitude of love, patience and tolerance.

 

Please remove from me

The desire and compulsion to use alcohol and drugs.

Thy will be done,

Not mine.

Amen

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