A Prayer - A Bridge
A Prayer – A Bridge
a
bridge from what I once was, and can still be – to the person I aspire to be
a friend, at dawn by the Ohio River – Aberdeen Suspension Bridge, Maysville
KY
The intent of my prayers throughout my life has
evolved. Prayers of my younger years
were pleadings for something – directed to an entity I was not wholly convinced
existed, or if it did exist, cared not one fig about me. Most were of the “foxhole variety,” because
my ass was on fire and I wanted someone, or something, to put it out immediately.
Trying to get sober started me on consistent reliance
upon prayer, even though I was dubious at the time. My sponsor suggested the practice, and I responded
that I did not know what to pray for. He
asked, “what do you want?” My reply was
that I wanted the desire and compulsion to use alcohol and drugs removed from
me. “That is your prayer,” he stated
emphatically, “start with that.” He also
said it had to be done daily, and more often when my life felt like it was
about to shatter into little pieces.
Several weeks later I realized the desire and compulsion to chemically
alter my consciousness had indeed dissipated.
It just happened! I informed my
sponsor of the good news, and he instructed me to keep repeating the prayer
because obviously it had worked.
That original plea of decades ago remains in my daily
morning prayer for today, because I still want that to be an aspect of my
being. Over the years of working a
program of recovery I have come to embrace other qualities which would be
beneficial to aspiring for a peaceful, serene, and unselfish life – so I have
added those to my prayer as well. The type
of person we are today is the result of choices – so chose wisely!
Moving from the person I once was, to the type of person
I can be today, is a frightening thing.
No matter how uncomfortable my old ways were, there was the illusion of
comfort in the familiar. A new way of
living filled me with fear, because it was unknown. It is like encountering a small stream and
having to make a decision to get to the other side – or stay on the side where my
actions continue to visit upon me consequences which typically are bad. Prayer provides the strength to swallow fear
and pride in order to get to the other side – on an invisible bridge. Prayer is my daily reminder of who I once
was, but most importantly, a conscious declaration of the type of person I want
to be. In order to do that, I have to
consciously and with firm intent, cross that metaphorical and personal bridge
on a consistent basis. It truly works,
for I am not the person I was, and I hope I am a better person today than I was
yesterday. Today I believe – today I
have faith in a Higher Power.
My
Daily Prayer
Thank
you Lord for this new day!
Please
guide me,
Please
grant me the strength, the courage, and the willingness
To
do what needs to be done today.
Please
help me to grow,
Help
me to learn, help me to listen,
help
me to love, help me to share,
and
help me to forgive.
Help
me to go forth today,
With
an attitude of gratitude,
An
attitude of love, patience and tolerance.
Please
remove from me
The
desire and compulsion to use alcohol and drugs.
Thy
will be done,
Not
mine.
Amen
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